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Tuesday, August 12, 2008 time: 12:32am Post #297 I feel like I learned something over the past few months that will stick with me for a long time. I now know that I will never lay all my eggs in one basket. After leaving Best Buy and becoming single, I found that I have become disconnected from alot of people I know. Ever sense highschool I was the person who never had a super good group of friends at school, but had many groups that I mingled with often. I did have one great group of friends, and that was the guys from the youth group. Now that we have moved away though, we unfortunaly have grown apart. Now This past year I have basicly lost most of my Best Buy friends, except for Paul. I do not get the phone calls to hang out from them, unless it is from paul himself. I knew that was the case for a few months now. I realized tonight that the group of friends I had grown to call my own, were not actually my friends. I was there situationally. I was invited to things because of a relationship. That group of friends has been together for a long time, and I understand that after a year of being included that I no longer feel to be a part of the group. It was my mistake to invest so much of myself into a group that was so situational. Provided there are 2 people in that group that I still hang out with sometimes, and two great people in Portland, but out of how many people were in that group, I dont feel any real connection anymore. You see, the funny thing about it is my age. People who stayed in school built up a group of friends that they will be a part of for a long time, no matter what. Then those people get married or get in serious relationships and no longer hang out as much. For those who do not hook up, they still have the same people they always had. For someone like me, I always bounced around groups, investing alot into one, then moving on to another. My fault, I look back and think about all the things I could have done differently as far as friends go. I should have stuck with one group. That one group I was included in, and branched out to meet new people but not sacrificing the friends I had. It makes me sad that this is where I am at, but it is a reality check that I have some work to do. Everyone else has thier friend group they have had for years. This is a time where somethings change but some stay the same. I wish I had more friendships that stayed the same. Steve Thursday, March 20, 2008 time: 7:10am Post #296 Good news world, I got a new job. I will be working for MGM full time, but i think I'm still gonna hang out at best buy and do like 4 hours a week. that way I can keep in touch with people (and keep my discount). Hopefully that will go well, and I have never worked 2 jobs at the same time, so i am nervous to see how it all plays out. Telling my managers that i was moving on to a new job was an amazing experience. They had the expression as if I had punched them in the face. They did not see it comming, and really wanted to find out why I was leaving. They were frustrated when I told them it was offical, and I would be leaving in 3 weeks. Now I am deciding if I want to take 3 weeks off of work and use my vacation time for that, or just get it all in one fatty paycheck. but there are other complications if i move to part time, so I may lose those hours, but I don't know yet. Still trying to get that figured out. Anyway, life is exciting right now. I get to go watch lost tonight then enjoy a day off tomorrow. I took 3 days off next week, which is pretty cool, so I will have some good time to wind down from retail. Welp, anyway wish me luck! Steve Monday, March 17, 2008 time: 10:41am Post #295 What is your job? Is your job something you go to every day excited? Do you see yourself there for the long run? Is there a different job you wish you had? If so, what does it take for you to get that job? Do you need more education, or do you need to relocate? Would it be worth it to leave the life you currently have, the friends, the town to take on a new job? Or is it just a job? I mean, if you think about it long enough, it will drive you crazy. Unless you are living your dream job. I have been falling asleep at night thinking about what I want to do with my job. A job take up a large amount of your life, 40 hours a week. Every week. I don't think it's much to ask to want more in a job. But what I am asking myself is "will there be an end?" After every promotion, there is another. When do you get to the point where you say, "I'm so happy I don't have thier job?" Even though they make more money. I am in sales, and currently I enjoy it. But then I am at the Up and Up and I see the bartenders and how relaxed they are. They get payed as much as I do, if not more. They chill, and do thier job without having to do super well, and hit numbers of sales. But maybe I thrive in that. Today at work, we were 200% to budget, and I was excited. It feels good to do well, but I also know when I go in to work tomorrow I will start over at 0%. Maybe we will hit 200% tomorrow as well. I wonder if I should stay at Best Buy and start doing community college. They would pay for it all. Maybe take some computer classes. I always did like working on computers, but never got any deeper than HTML. I will keep playing around with the idea. Oh, and by the way, I would like to apologize for the bad spelling and grammer. I type all of these entries into the HTML source, which I use notepad for. Steve Saturday, March 15, 2008 time: 2:51am Post #294 Wow, I have not used this in a very long time. I just remembered how to log in, so maybe i can get this thing up and running again. I still have to figure out if this is going to work but we shall see. For those of you who do not know, I am in love with a woman who goes by the name "Allison Ormsby." She is bombizzle. Word. So lets see if I can get this on the internets... Steve Friday, August 5, 2005 time: 1:59am Post #293 I got the Job! So I am going to be working at the Best Buy in bellingham during the off days of the sox. Should be a lot of fun. Anyway, not much else has changed sense i Last posted. I need to do some community service, but everywhere i have called has been difficult. Either way, it will get done. Have a good night everyone. Steve Tuesday, August 2, 2005 time: 1:12am Post #292 Wow, i finally made it though eight days of sox. Flippen long. anywa,y before i forget, Brad wanted me to mention his name on my "blog." done. so yah, the homestand went pretty well. I was springers last time ever, which was kinda sad. Him being one of my best friends sense 6th grade. So yah, things are going to be different on the grounds crew, but I'm hoping for the best. Love life? Nothing special. Nothing that should be on the internet :). I just had an interview at best buy today, and i wooped its buhdunkadunk. went really well, and i have my third and final one on wednesday at 2, then dancing at 5. Should be a fun day.... And i do mean dancing for the sox. Its late, and its time for bed. Good night. Steve Sunday, July 24, 2005 time: 12:12am Post #291 here we go baby!! Eight days of fun and work.... and no sleep... and no outside life. But all i can do is try my best to have fun, and ration my energy. On a side note... nevermind, i posted last night, so i have no side notes... haw. Goodnight, because im tired now. Steve Saturday, July 23, 2005 time: 10:41pm Post #290 almost 10 posts away from having 300 total. I have been doing this thing sence beginning of sophmore year in highschool... almost 4 years. Almost one post every 4 days isnt that bad. Anyway, im up at the house in Bham, chillen with mike and al. Last night people were over and we had a pretty good time, if i do say so myself. So yah, not much has really happened though latly. I start my 8 game homestand on sunday, so im not really looking forward to that too much. work is fun, and the people i work with are really cool, but 8 days? that is alot of hours. My goal is to have as much fun as i can during those 8 days. Never let tired take control, and always be optmistic. It is pretty easy sence jason mayer always gets angry after every game, so because i have a contradicting personality, i make him feel like a jerk for not having fun. Woop. Because that is how I roll. Tomorrow i need to allpy to radio shack in the mall, because i know they are hiring for the next school year. I applied to best buy, and next time i have some days off, im gonna bring up a nice shirt to wear with my suit. Then, im am going to go to best buy and give her my resume, and introduce myself, so that when she sees my application, she wants to hire me. My mommy told me that would work. :) Anyway, 2:30 is later, so im goen to bed, becasue i didnt get much sleep last night, and even though i took a nap, i am still pretty tired. I want to get as much of my sleep back as i can before these 8 games, or i will not be able to achive my goal. So good night everyone, and stay classy. Steve Friday, July 15, 2005 time: 10:41pm Post #289 Wow, so alot has happened sense I wrote that last post. In my last entry I was kind of lost. I did not really know what my direction was, or anything along those lines. Now, I have had some clarity, and once again a direction that I can go. I am going to major in Business with an emphasis on Management. Now, I know that might sound like an easy way out, but I know what I want to do with it. I want to go into the upper management of some kind of Entertainment Company, for example the Aquasox. I want to be a part of something where people come to you for fun, not because they have to. No one wants to go to an insurance agency. They do it because they need insurance. But people who go to Aquasox games go there because it is fun, and that shows around the ball park. I want to be one of the people who help make that happen. On a side note, I moved into my new house. I am living up there during my days off, and it has been allot of fun. Everything I own is up there, and I bring things down to Mukilteo for work. Like I'm at home right now, on my computer, because I wanted it. Anyway, if you ever want to come check it out, give my cell a call, and we can make something happen. I love my family. My parents are the 2 greatest people in the world, and I have a lot of fun being able to talk to them. I can trust them with anything, and I know that they will always be there for me. Plus, them starting Sotaria as a new church has been allot of fun, and exciting for them. My parents are a blessing I know allot of people don’t have. I am doing what I can to not take it for granted. Love life... hmm, pretty much non existent. I am not going to lie, I do miss Britt, and have thought about her allot. But things where not meant to be with that, and I am not going to screw anything up with that. She is an amazing girl, and it was an honor for me to call her my girlfriend. And with that, I think I am going to go to bed. I am starting a 5 game home stand tomorrow, so I need to get my sleep tonight, or I will be dead for the entire week. Good night everyone. Steve Tuesday, June 07, 2005 time: 12:41am Post #288 This may read fairly wierd. It's just the typing of thoughts.... Why? To be searching for something that you don’t even know exists. To Feel. Not understanding life in general, because it was not intended to be understood. Why is it that some people work so hard, while others do not? Why am I not one of those people? Is it that I don’t care about my future? No, I can’t imagine that it is that. There is so much to life that can be experienced. That should be experienced. Only by feeling the pull of motivation can we begin to understand why. Without it we are lost, as we never take a step forward. With that step you can’t walk miles. Some people are taking those steps, others are jogging. GPA Think about that one a bit. What is so important about this number? It controls people’s lives. It dictates how they live! Am I the only one who doesn’t want to spend more time working to raise this number? To the 4.0 we all reach for? Or do we? Motivation is by far the most interesting part of the human mind. Love? No, it is too known to be interesting to understand. Everyone will complain about love at one point in their life, making it normal. But not everyone is motivated. Why? Why should I get a college degree? A wise man told me because it gives options, and options are wealth... And what happens when options are not important? We are all put somewhere on this planet, whether you believe it was by God, or you evolved into who you are today. Either way we are here, and must do what we can with what we are given. That is interesting in itself. "Do what we can with what we are given"... Am I doing that? Should we reach for the best we can have? Or go as far as we need to make us happy? For me, happiness is two things. Love and being content. If you have both those things in your life, you are set. When will people learn to live in the moment? Our problem is simple. God put me here, at Western for this year, and maybe another. But that is not my decision to make. Though I am not close with him right now, I still feel as I am a part of his plan. "Only by stumbling in the darkness, will you see the beauty of the light." ~Me 3 years ago... I thought I understood that statement to the fullest then... Motivation <--> Purpose Without one, you can not have the other. What is my purpose? Am I here on earth to make money? And have a nice house and nice car? Am I here so I can do a job that is fun for the rest of my life? Or am I here to have fun? Understanding what fun is. Still something I am thinking about. What is content? It has to be balanced. You have to be content with your body, with your social life, and spiritually. Am I blinded by this "content?" Because I have a family that loves me, and is there for me. Because I have friends that I can go to when I need help. Because I don’t feel overweight, or skinny. Because I feel that connection to God. Is this causing me to not look into the future? I am content. I have love in my life. I am happy. Is happy enough? Steve Friday, May 06, 2005 time: 12:36am Post #287 So Cinco de Mayo was "yesterday" and I'm not gonna lie, im dissapointed. All i wanted was a corona. Not 2, just one, and a bit of lime. In 5th grade i miss spelled "color" on a test... that i studied for... Finalized the car and house, so all that money issue is done. Lets see, andy and ty both got wow. Good times. Welp, im tired. So im gonna go meditate im my bed. Steve Wednesday, May 04, 2005 time: 9:17am Post #286 Good morning. Wed. Which means i have class, which sucks. So im gonna shower this morning. That may not seem like a big deal but, i have not showered sense friday morning.... yah. Now go back to my entrys and look at all i have done sense then. Yum. Had some tests on monday, and i think they went pretty well. The scores are still not posted, and that kinda makes me angry, because they were scantrons.... so they should have been done tuesday morning. Anyway, sonics are doing well. Ray's shots are like butter. I guess thats a good thing. So last night were walking to late night and these asian dudes were singing at the bus stop. When i say asian dudes, i mean the guys who dont speak english, just japaneese. All i know how to say in japaneese is "i am an apple." So yah, once of them was singing basicly as high pitched as you can. So andy frey just yells, "let em drop son!" I love that andy kid. Well. I. Am. Going. To. Shower.... after this goofy movie song gets over. Steve Sunday, May 01, 2005 time: 3:33pm Post #285 Welcome. I hope that everyone is able to read this, as my new design has faked a few people out so far. Anyway, i thought it was a cool idea. I went home this weekend after a long week of comm. I had to give 2 speaches, and my final outline is due tomorrow. Im posting now to give my self a bit more procrastination time, and to remind me how to type. Once you get in the mood of typing it is really easy to carry over to work. Anyway, my speaches went well, thanks for asking. I wish i had a little more time to prepare the one i did on videogames, but i think it went well anyway. After i was done with all that on friday, i basicly went to my room, got my laundry and psych books, and headed home. In my car. :) Sticks are fun. I'm really glad my first car is a stick, and i told myself i was going to do that along time ago. Well i went to the Yocums wedding, and if you know who i am talking about, then you were probably there, and know that it was a ton of fun. Everyone kept asking me about my hair. What am i suppost to say to that? The dancing was fun, and then we went to a dance party at mikes house. WE had alot of fun there, at least those of us who danced. Later on we went to the hickman's for some tubben and cigars. Slept at mikes house, and did some lame garage saling the next day. Oh well, we were pretty tired. Went home to hand out with my family for the day, and then went to soem apartment that night. And now its sunday and her i am. Sucka. I have alot to do, so im gonna get started now that im in the typing mood. Steve Tuesday, April 26, 2005 time: 12:05am Post #284 Now, i have infact posted 2 days in a row. This is something that has not been done in a while, and if it has, then it shows i am too lazy to check. I gave a speach in Comm today. Went pretty well, and it was a retake, so im glad we dont have to do it again. Now i give a spech on firday about video games hahaha, so it should be fun. I already have typed out the full outline, and its 4 pages long, so its not like i have to worry about running out of content. Oh, and we offically got the house we were going after today. Its really sweet, and we get to move in this july. Thats in like 2 months, so im really excited. This quarter is going by really fast. We are already half way through. Its been alot of fun though. Im loving my classes and scheadule, so its going to be hard going back to classes every day. Btw, i only have classes Monday Wed Fri. So you Sr. in Highschool think you have it easy. But i have also been really good about getting stuff done this spring. Sometime you sould sit down and watch adultswim if you havent already. It's pretty sweet. Am i the only person who wishes he could jump higher? I wish i could jump and do backflips. And beable to catch frisbees thrown above my head. That would mean i woulnt have to chase them down, and that makes life better. Trust me. So we had a softball game yesterday. We lost 20 something to zero. No lie. We are good. So i have a test tomorrow. Which sucks, because its tuesday. Oh well. DAY DER KER JERBS! Steve Sunday, April 24, 2005 time: 10:39am Post #283 So, i think its stime for me to do another post, and that last page was getting pretty long so i started a new one. Lets see. I got a car... A 90 honda accord... ok, so she has "a few" miles. Oh well, nothing that can't be overcome. Im moving into a house next year with some guys on my floor. Its gonna be fun, and yes, you may call it the WoW house. But call it what you want, its gonna be sweet. We get to move in this july, so that means we can go kick it there over the summer. Went to a friends house last night for a party. I didndt get drunk, as i was the one who took care of people. Last night i was able to see all the negitive effects of alchol on people. Not for the first time, but it was happing with almost everyone, and it got worse as the night went on. I'm glad i didnt drink alot. Lets see... when it comes to girls, not much has changed. Well britt and i broke up, but that was more than a month ago. that could be news to some people. The reason, well we go to different schools, and basicly never saw eachother. And neither of us are big fans of the phone, so we didnt talk much on that. So yah, it was fairly anti climatic. Which, if you ask me, is a very good thing. Shes a great girl, and i was privilaged to be with her as long as i was. Im getting really excited to go back to the aquasox this summer. Just the thought of walking around in the sun, using equipment that i dont get to use normally, and watching baseball. It's going to be a blast. If you ever want to go to a game, let me know. I'll see what i can do :). Pizza pipeline is the best place for pizza. soooo good. Well im gonna see if i can catch a ride to church. I'll hopefully post more frequently. I hear that writing online journals can help your english skills out. Hopefully that is the case. Pushing post 300 :). Steve |