Saturday, March 19, 2005 time: 5:41pm Post #282
[chorus]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
I know that you are something special
To you, I'd be always faithful
I want to be
What you always needed
Then I'll hope you see the heart in me
[chorus]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Your beautiful soul, yeah
You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind if you give me the chance
I'll never make you cry c'mon let's try
[chorus] I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Am I crazy for wanting you
Maybe do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know that you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide
[chorus 2x]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Beautiful soul, yeah
Oh, yeah
Your beautiful soul, yeah
Steve
Monday, March 7, 2005 time: 1:24am Post #281
Well, alot more people read this thing that i had thought. I got alot of supportive feedback from my last entry, so thanks guys. I wanted to let you all know that things are alot better now, already. Yesterday britt was able to come up and see me for a few hours, and as you would expect, she read my last etry, so we got to spend some time talking aobut that stuff. But it was really nice to see her, and she was very supportive, and alot of the things she told me are still in my mind. I love you britt.
Today i did something that i have not done in a very long time. I went to church today because i wanted to. Not because i felt obligated. When i would go home for the weekends, i would go to church because i didnt want people to think i had fallen from my faith. I did not want it to reflect badly on my parents. I always wanted to go back to school before 7:00 on sunday nights, to avoid the questions i would get at sotaria. People would ask me "So what chruch are you goen to? You in a small group? You living with christians?" Because when i would go, i would have to lie, and say, "oh yah, im checken out this place, starting a small group, blah blah blah." But could i say the truth? honestly. My dad is thier pastor. Im the pastor's kid.
I went to a church called cornwall about 15 mins away. It was exactly like northshore, from the chairs, to the bulitins. I went with 9 other guys, and we took up an entire row. And once again, i wanted to be there. I took notes, highlighted my bible, and talked to god honestly for the first time in a long time. Now, i cant say my life has been turned around, but like i told my dad, it was a step in the right direction.
And i have a reason for going to school. Before i did not have much motivation, because the goal was hidden from me. And i owe this conclusion to britt. I am not going to college to make my life better, im going to make my familys lives better. First off, my parents right now are paying for alot of my schooling, therefore i do not have the right to not do my best. Second of all, i hope someday to get married and have kids. I want my kids to grow up having the best life they can, and if i can make enough money, then my wife can stay at home, and not have to work. For me, going to college is not about getting a good job and making money. Money has never been that important to me. But it becomes important, when im no longer the only one who is depending on the money. Thanks britt!
So speaking of doing well in school, i need to go to bed. Dead week is this week, so i have some time to do really well on my finals. It's not too late. Goodnight!
Steve
Thursday, March 3, 2005 time: 11:44pm Post #280
Happy birthday to me. I have not updated this site for quite a while, so i thought this would be a good time to do so.
I'm sure people are wondering why i have not posted in a couple months, and there are two reasons. First off, i dont have the easy link on my computer to do it after i reformated, and i have been too lazy to get it back. Second, nothing has happened that has been worth telling everyone.
I am not happy with my life right now. I don't know who i am, and lost. I have no motivation for school right now, as i have a chemestry test, and a math test tomorrow, and i have not studied for either. Im tired, and not eating well. I have not done anything active in 4 months. 4 months! I have not ran, or jogged at all, and i am getting fat, for the first time in my life. I feel that i am a contrast to my family. MY dad is tarting a new church, and i get weekly letters from him, telling me how God has touched his life. MY family is moving to everett, to be closer to the church. Im 100 miles away, and i dont know who god is. I was at the dining hall tonight by my self because of a miscomunication. (I thought i was metting people there, but they were waiting for me in my room.) Well i was sitting at a table, eating something becides pudding and drinking something becides pepsi for the first time in 36 hours. I started to get emotional, as its my birthday, and im eating alone. i stated to feel tears pulling, but i held them back, and just got up and left. I had a plate of french fries, and that was it. So my birthday concisted of skipping all my classes, doing laundry, cleaning my desk, and eating alone at 9:00.
I have a picture of Britt and i on my desktop, and let me tell you, she is breathtaking. I am so lucky to have her, even though she deserves alot more.
Im lacking energy, and im always tired. I live a second life in a video game, which isnt a problem. The problem is i dont have a primary life. I am not living for anything, therefor i have no motivation. Sure, you can say that every college student goes though this at one point or another. The problem is i have no reltionship with god. I live for no one, there for i dont live for myself. I wish going to church was easy here at western. Every church that i would feel comfertable in is miles away from campus, and if i want to go to them, i have to wake up at 8:00 to catch a bus. I think a car would help, but its not really an option for me, and never has been. There are some people who go to church, but I dont think i have met any genuine christians yet. I could just be blinded. I chose not to attend a private christian college, becuase i wanted to expereance what the world was like outside of my bubble. I know so many people who dont live christian lives, and i have never seen them as unhappy. I have come to the conclusion that you can not go backwards. once you see the light, then the darkness becomes a whole lot darker. But i was always in the light, so the darkness was not something for me to fear, but to discover.
Something needs to change. I know that i want to stay in school, because that is what i am told to know.
More to come when i want it to......
Steve
Monday, December 13, 2004 time: 1:34am Post #279
Good morning. Break has started, and its pretty chill. Finals went pretty alright, and thats aobut all i know. Been over mat matt laws house latly, chillen, playen computer games, and smoken the hookah. None of the guys are back yet, so what can you do. I jsut checked my grads, and im a little dissapointed with my math grade, but i guess it makes sense. There were some things i could have done to make my grade in that class better, not to mention the other 2. Either way, im feeling pretty motivated for next quarter, and pretty excited to get good grades, because i think i have a scheadule that will work pretty well. One of those being english, so my journal postings should have better grammer and spelling. I never took english my senior year, so i'm a bit rusty. Hopefully things will go well.
Went to Soteria tonight, which was pretty much what i expected. It was fun to see everyone there, but it really made me think. It's so wierd that everything in my life is changing, but when i go back home, so many people have not changed. Thats to be expected, but its a wierd thought. It's amazing how life levels out after you get done with school. You get a job, you live on your own, and eventually get married and have kids. Its that living on your own, alone, that doesnt excite me. I need to be around people, and i know i would get lonly if i wasnt. Nikky has his onw apartment, and i have been there a few times. It's pretty chill, but you will notice that he doesnt spend much time there alone. I understand completly, as if i was in his situation, i would feel the same. Anyway, those days are kind of far off, so it's time to live in the now.
I have been missing something in my life, and i know what it is. I have really lost touch with my faith, and i know why. I am not required to have it. No one is making me go to church, or be in a small group, or prey and read my bible. So i really have not done much about it. I sleep in on sundays, and have not really thought about it much. I get alot of letters from my dad, which have really meant alot to me. It's amazing how much faith he has, and how much God is a part of his life. There is a definate theme in the letters, and it can be seen in every paragraph. I hope someday i can become half the man he is.
I need to shower
I have not seen britt sense i have been back, which is really dissapointing. We have a a relationship that i have never had with a girlfriend. Shes very special in so many ways, and i cant imagine not being able to call her my girlfriend. I miss her, and i hope i can see her soon. Shes still studying, and it amazes me how much she does. I hope shes ok.
Well i think im gonna head off to bed, wake up, and take a shower. Thats how we roll.
Steve
Monday, December 06, 2004 time: 12:57pm Post #278
Ok, this time i will actually post something of some significance. Tomorrow i have a final in history and math. I'm really not worried about the math one at all, its the history one that scares the crap out of me. Anyway, I made this 12 page study guide using encarta 97, and im hoping it has enough enformation to get me by. We get 20 some odd terms, and on the test there are 3 of them, and we have to write about them in depth. So thats what ill be doing today, and tonight, and tomorrow, taking a break to eat and do a math final. Then after my History final its strait to the Etec lab to make a flashlight. Word.
While I was asleep I hit myself in the face and got a bloody nose.
I have a heater in my room, and curently i'm in my underwear sitting on it. Very warm and comfertable. I had a dream that a buch of people came to visit me here at WWU, and i forgot about them, and they died. But it was one of those dreams that had no emotions. So i was fine.
I should probably go eat.
Steve
Sunday, December 05, 2004 time: 12:09am Post #277
New layout. I thought it was creative. Credit to winamp obveously. Finals next week, then im headen home. Ill post later when im ready. Bye!
Steve
Wednesday, November 17, 2004 time: 1:07pm Post #276
HA!! I beat the one month mark. In 2 days it would have been a whole month sense i last posted. So here we go!
I have a short term memory when it comes to this thing, so basicly I'm just gonna talk about what has happend reciently. On monday my dad came up to visit, and it was his birthday + 1. We had alot of fun catching up, and eating sushi. I got him a sweatshirt, because i knew he wanted one. Hes working on branching off Northshore to make a second church called Soteria. Its for young adults and on, and i guess things are going really well as of now. It's going to be very exciting for him, and Soteria. Ill keep you all posted, but in the meantime, check out thier forums at *http://experiencenorthshore.org/forums* Pretty cool if you havent checked it out!
For some reason i have been in a really good mood, and i think it started monday when i got to see my dad. Thanksgiving is gonna be a blast. I'm really excited to spend time with alot of people i havent seen in a long time.
In case your wondering, Britt and I are doing great. She's amazing, and means the world to me. It was 6 months for us on the 5th, and things are going strong. I Love her!
I got a hookah reciently, so thats been pretty fun. 10 flavors are on the way, and they were really cheep, so thats good. Money can become pretty scarce in college, as many of you know, and others will find out.
Spady won state. Congrats to him. I'm gonna see if i can find some time to tackle him over thanksgiving.
So we got 2 couches up in our room now. *Check out the pictures here.*
I hope everyone is having a great time doing whatever it is that your doing. Later.
Steve
Tuesday, October 19, 2004 time: 11:07pm Post #275
Steve
Sunday, October 17, 2004 time: 11:04pm Post #274
Sorry i havent posted in a while. I reformatted my computer because my 30 days thing ran out and my crack didnt work becuase of service pack two. Anyway, britt and i got back together if i didn't mention that, so last weekend i went home and got to spend some time with her. Did some clubbin, which was alot of fun. Hopefully she will get a chance to visit soon.
Mike and i totaly redid our room. WEll, i take that back, in the end none of his stuff moved, but its all good. Now my bed is under my couch. My couch is lofted above, and my mattress is on the floor. Its pretty sweet. The couch is now known as the throne. Its pretty gangster. Come check it out. Nash Pi. Anyway, goodnight.
Steve
Sunday, October 03, 2004 time: 2:38am Post #273
So the cross country team did a little streaking through campus on wed. It was probably the biggest rush i have had in a while, tons of fun. Rest of the week was pretty normal, and now its sunday morning. and its 2:30. Sweet. Been having fun hanging around, chillen at sam and logans house. Britt cant visit because her parents dont trust her driving. Which may be a good call if you have ever seen her drive.hopefully another time. Mom, Dad, I love you both. Goodnight!
Steve
Wednesday, September 29, 2004 time: 11:09am Post #272
Im pretty freaken nervous for today. Ill let you know what it is after im done. Excited but nervous. Anyway, i only had 2 classes today, so you know what that means! Time to study and read and study and crap. Either way, i only had 2 hours of school today, so take that all you people in highschool. Notice its 11, and im done. Suckas.
I hope that Britt's first day is going well. Sally and i talked about britt at dinner last night, and how she should come to WWU cause its the S***. Think about it... ;)
So now im gonna relazx, do the thing, then study, so ill be back on later.
Steve
Tuesday, September 28, 2004 time: 5:04pm Post #271
Good afternoon! Just got done with my workout for cross-country. It's kicking my bottom, but its a good challange, and a chance for me to stop it up. Of all the runners who are not sick, im the slowest as of right now. But you never know that may change.
Classes have been going well, which reminds me i have to check all my history stuff. Everything is on a website. I took a skill test today in math, and alot of the stuff i didnt remember, but eventually i figured it all out.
Ill be honest. I miss Britt more than anything. I miss my family, but i have been getting ready to leave home for a year. Emotionaly, i was ready. But saying good bye to britt kinda hit me by suprise, and has left much more of a mark that i had expected. I have been trying to get over it, and start looking for someone else, but i dont seem to have that kind of motivation. Oh well, hopefully things will get better. And if they dont, then maybe she can transfer. It will all work out in the end, because it always does.
Big suprise in Red Square tomorrow. Its gonna be huge... Or small depending on the weather..... :D
Steve
Sunday, September 26, 2004 time: 1:01am Post #270
This has been a good weekend, and its not over. The reck center was closed at freaken 8, as opposed to 11. Britt moves into her dorm, and i hope that went well. I watched a few movies, and am probably gonna go to bed soon. Goodnight!
Steve
Thursday, September 23, 2004 time: 3:55pm Post #269
Yah, that thing is kinda goofy. I only did it because i saw britts and thought it was pretty accurate, so i decided to try my luck out. Western has been alot of fun. Got my room, roommate, and classes, and like it all. The cross country guys are pretty funny, and i got lost on a 10 mile run and had to run longer to get home. ill post more now that i have my web stuff all set up. Later!
Steve
Friday, September 3, 2004 time: 1:54am Post #268
Aquasox season is over, so now i work 3 more days 9-5, and call it good. Went to the buzz inn tonight after the game, which was pretty fun. Britt came and we hung out in the scoreboard, fireworks. new phone, pretty sweet. Same number. 5 hours of sleep if i fall asleep in 6 minutes. goodnight!
Steve
Monday, August 30, 2004 time: 11:05pm Post #267
My eye hurts. Bought a gamecube.
Steve
Monday, August 30, 2004 time: 9:27am Post #266
Sweet action. It's always to make some extra money, especilly when it takes barly any work. I did a wedding with tall tom last night, and it was pretty fun. Sucka
Steve
Sunday, August 29, 2004 time: 1:05am Post #265
Just played some poker at matts. I kinda had a bad beat, so i think im gonna take a break from playing, untill i join the poker and pizza club at wwu. I baught an apple pie at qfc, because it sounded good, and now im listing to some modest mouse. I'm excited to go to church tomorrow, but first im gonna play a game of Warcraft 3. If you have it and want to play, let me know. Night.
Steve
Saturday, August 28, 2004 time: 4:13pm Post #264
So it's been almost 2 months sense i posted.... so I'll do a quick summery.
I graduated.
Summer has been nice. Got dome with my 8 game homestand in one piece. Re did my pgae. simple. Easy. Brit came to game #7, so that was nice to see her. im doing a wedding tomorrow with tom the pa announcer. then im getting another day off. Then 3 more days of games. probably some more work after that. im hungry. Matt and Marty are at college. See yah guys at thanks giving. I bet the magnetic Goop is gonna cross 3 states. I nheed to do laundry. last time i did, i think was when i posted on this site.....
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Saturday, July 3, 2004 time: 12:40am Post #263
Mmmmm July. Thats how you knwo the summer has really kicked off. Not really kicked off, but in the middle. Tomorrow is the 4th, and its a day game, so i get off early. Ill probably just head over to britts house and we will launch off hella crap. I had 1000 bucks in my bank account, then i spent 850 on computer stuff. I got such good stuff though. Freaken a, im gonna be a nerd machine. I have been able to see brit alot latly, so that has been pretty nice. Anyway, i work tomorrow, so im gonna head off to bed. I leave for hawaii on sat. Gangsta.
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Tuesday, June 22, 2004 time: 2:33am Post #262
TIME OFF!!! WOO!! I got a checking accoutn at wamu, and that was the first real think i have done sense i tured 18. It made me feel pretty old. Well i fixed my copmputer case, and i got aobut 500 dollers in grad money. Went to the drive in with brit. Shes "hella cool". I got a nickname at aquasox, and that is "Flash" because i run everywhere. Hey, i gotta get in the summer miles some how. Spent 80 bucks on ddr stuff, so now i have the game and 2 pads. Party time. After sleep though...
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Thursday, June 18, 2004 time: 12:23am Post #261
I can't believe im posting on here. Yah, i have been working 14 hour days sense tuesday, and was busy all day monday. Work is so much fun. I love my job. Yah, right now i dont have much free time, but i get 5 days off next week. So that is gonna be freaken sweet. I have not got to see britt much at all this week, and nor have i even been able to talk to her. I miss her, so next week we are gonna chill. WEll i need sleep, so i can be ready for work at 9:00 tomorrow morning. Come to the game, if you can get tickets. Tomorrow is opening night, and we will be dancing. .. .. .... yah about that. Jason is pretty bad as of right now. Jason is my boss btw. And by bad i mean he sucks at dancing. Springer and i have it down, and its gangsta. Woop. Mike is on his way, and brendon says hes got it down, but hasnt showed us yet. Goodnight!
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Sunday, June 6, 2004 time: 10:59pm Post #260
Ok, so i reformated again, because i got like 24 virus or something. Sorry to all the gangstas out there who keep checking this page to see nothing. Anyway, so im gonna post.
3 days of school baby. I am so ready to be done, and this wed im haven a lan party in my room. I totally redid everything in it, so now i could fit 4 full size computers, or like 7 laptops. So yah, im pretty happy. something about a clean room.
Started at aquasox. BEST JOB EVER. I am having so much fun, i cant wait to get back there. And im getten payed. I get to weadwack, which may nto sound like fun, but it kicks the wet bill cosby right off your back. As in its good.
Britt, I know my precalculus. It says you plus me equals us....
~Steve
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Wednesday, June 3, 2004 time: 12:13am Post #259
Wow, bad luck i guess. i keep updating at midnight, and thats pretty late, so i get tired. Lets see, what is there to talk about...
Chelan was a ton of fun. Got to know alot of people better, and that was sweet. I see people in the halls now, and i feel more of a connection. I need to get a live journal, so i can get on peoples friends list, so i can read entrys.
I havent got to see britt very much, and it sucks. I have no idea what direction our relationship is gonna go, and i dont think she does either. So dont ask :).
Aquasox is gonna be sweet. Come to games this summer and see me.
Fantastic
~Steve
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Tuesday, June 1, 2004 time: 12:01am Post #258
Word homies. Sorry i havent posted in a while. My computer craped out and i didnt have internet for the past week. So i reformated and now its allgood. Im pretty tired so im not going to post much. Last week was nice. No track, and i baught the sims for ps2. So now i have sims partys, and there is a sims club. Its hella fun. I went to chelan this weekend, and that was alot of fun. And yah, if i miss another zero period then i lose credit, and i have to appeal. So i need to get some sleep. Goodnight, and ill post more later!
~Steve
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Friday, May 21, 2004 time: 11:52pm Post #257
Ahhh, and track ends. I will update that track link when i get some times back from my coaches. Anyway, i stayed home during 1st and 2nd period. Went to school, and them home. Went to the meet, and watched the entier thing untill the last race. Britt did really well. She got 5th in the 800, and thats pretty up there. I got 9th in my 800. Anyway, after the meet britt and i hung out, and lets just say we needed to take some evasive action. Well im off to bed, and i work tomorrow. Saqa Aox baby. Later!
~Steve
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Thursday, May 20, 2004 time: 10:33pm Post #256
Well my track season is basicly over. I have one more race tomorrow, and thats the 4x4. I did not qualify for the 800, but thats cool. Im kinda happy, and im really excited to see who gets to go on to state. I knwo all the guys who are competing for those spots, and i wish luck to all of them. I got to go to state last year, and i got the whole expereance. Now its someone elses turn. Well Britt kicked butt yesterday. Im really proud of her, she runs fast, and looks good ;). And our 4x400 team should do pretty well. Maybe not state, but we will finsish up there. And im the only senior on the team, so they will be good for next year too! In the mile i paced spady to state, and he ran a 4:20. He kicked butt. Our first lap was 62 seconds, and thats cooken. 4:08 mile pace rigth there. But he went for the win, and got second, which in this case, there is a prize for. I finished in like 963rd place or something like that. Whatev :). So today i didnt do much. School, then track. A few handoffs. Then i went to the beach and played hella ultimate frisbee. Went back to my house with trevor and mike olfs. Made pizza. Went back to the beach and chilled at the camp fire. So tomorrow im goen to the meet, then chillen with britt after. Shes leaving for victoria this weekend, so ill miss her. Hopefully i will get to talk to her soemtime during ehr trip. We got our prom pictures back, and if i can ever find a new power cable for the scanner, i will post em. I work this weekend for the first time. 9:00 - 2:00. Not bad, and its good money :). Hopefully i will get payed soon after so i can go to chelan with no problem. But we shall see. time for bed for me, even though i have no zero period tomorrow. Next week for the mile, im gonna bring my spikes and do a time trial. By my self. At 6:30 in the morning. Should be fun :).
Have a good night, and im out. West side.
~Steve
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Tuesday, May 18, 2004 time: 10:31pm Post #255
today was a pretty normal tuesday. Went to zero period. Ran a 5:00 mile. WEnt home. Mike came over and we piped. Went to guitar. Will threw his again. Went to the tux shop, returned my vest and tie. Should have been 80 doller late fee, but the lady was nice. Then i went to jack in the box. Went to lunch. Found tim reed, and then we walked to andys. Watched the end of tron. Went to tech draw. Kicked arse on my model. Im doen pretty well on that. Then went to speach. Spent 45 mins strait thinking of metaphores using two words given to me. heres what i got:
"Only after experiencing the chaos of the zoo will you see the simplicity of a loaf of bread."
"The Shriek of the alarm clock is the collapse of my tent of dreams."
"Sometimes it takes a ride on the friend Wagon to get past the shattered glass of a broken relationship."
Adn there yah go. I went to track after that, and got to hang with britt for a while. All we did was handoffs. Got a ride home from britt, and then sat ther for a while. Went to bible study. I bought a half gallon of chocolate milk. watched some "hella" funny 80's movie. Something like "one crazy summer" or soemthing. And now im here. Going to bed. Goodnight!
~Steve
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Monday, May 17, 2004 time: 9:09pm Post #254
I added an Mp3 link at the top of the page. Check it out, it has all the songs i have. Let me know if its missing anything good, and if you like something on it, come to my house with your computer, and i will give it to you. :)
~Steve
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Monday, May 17, 2004 time: 5:27pm Post #253
Ok, im pissed. one of my good friends got really skrewed over. Actualy, two of my good friends got skrewed over the the same person. All i can say is selfish. Especially when you talk about the amount of money that was involved with both people. And as for my two friends, i feel bad for both of you. One of you already lost all your money, or your familes, and the other one was about too.
Dude, im glad you realized everything now, rahter than later. It was totally unfair for you, and it was painfull for me to watch. I know how you felt about her, and even how you love her, but what she did was too much. Im proud of you to look at this logicaly, and to be able to say, Yah, it sucks, but God is bigger. You have grown alot, and personaly, i dont think the growth came from her, because you are still goen strong, even when you feel like your not. All of the guys are here to support you, and make sure that anyhting you need from us we can give. Call us up, and we will chill hardcore this weekend. Keep on trucken.
And as for the lady friend, your better off. Even the best things in this life dont last forever. You now have people who really care for you, and i tell you over and over again, you gotta stick to them. They want to see you grow, and are not willing to give you up. What you did for them last weekend will be an event they will never forget. Keep giving all the glory to god, and he will reward you. Im proud of you, and how much you have grown over the past year.
And to both of you. Love her, but not the sin in her. Be carefull, and guard your hearts. Your better off in the long run. And God has a plan for both of you, just as he does her.
Westside.
~Steve
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