Notes: After reading one too many Ken-becomes-evil-again stories, I decided that I was fed up with that type of story and sat down to write a story using a questions that popped in my head while reading. What if Ken proved to be too strong for the Digidestined (yes, I'm using American names . . . except for Osamu) and conquered the Digital World? And what if the Digidestined didn't try to fight back again, instead giving up and cutting all their ties to the Digital World? This is a scenario that just wouldn't happen in the real series with determined people like Tai, Davis, and T.K., but that's the great thing about fanfiction, right? ^_^

This story follows Ken from a third person perspective. I should warn you now that this has some very depressing scenes. Isn't it strange how I've wandered from tearjerkers to dark stories. . .? *shudders* I guess I had it coming, as I've been looking back at the Digimon Emperor/Kaizer arc episodes for the last few days. . .
Started: January 5, 2001
Finished: January 6, 2001


"Only Memories Remain"

It was over.

He sank back into his throne with a sigh, staring at the black screen that greeted his gaze. The whole Digital World . . . conquered. A wicked smile touched his face as the thought registered, a mad laugh shaking his shoulders for several moments.

His laughing fit, however, was nothing like the silence that followed it.

. . . I'm finished. . .

I can't believe it. I thought the thrill would go on forever.

He shook his head. Thrill? When was the last time he had received a real thrill from slapping Dark Rings on digimon? When was the last time he had truly felt alive while erecting a Control Spire to stop digimon in their tracks?

It was only exciting when there was rebellion. . .

How long ago was that?

The boy opened his mouth to shout to the digimon that had been his personal servant and punching bag, getting halfway through his exclamation before shutting his mouth again. Wormmon was gone. He had disappeared from the fortress one day long ago; he couldn't remember how long anymore, since he never did pay much attention to the sniveling creature. After discovering the absence of the digimon, he had sent out orders that all Wormmon be brought to him. To his disappointment, the loyal bug wasn't among those assembled.

It was as if he had disappeared off the face of the Digital World.

Without Wormmon around to fuss over him, the Digimon Emperor had slowly begun to waste away. He didn't take care of himself, not eating for days at a time and getting sleep only when his body shut down on him. It was a frustrating period, as the young tyrant was plagued by nightmares of faceless demons during the night and terrible headaches during the day.

All of those headaches felt meaningless now.

". . . I've accomplished what no digimon was able to do," he murmured darkly, looking at the map of the Digital World with half-closed eyelids. "The Digital World is mine."

There was a strange emptiness to it all. He felt like a child that had finished a video game . . . which was exactly what he was. It was quite depressing. Shifting his attention to the monitors that showed his enslaved digimon, the emperor only found monotony to the marching Gazimon soldiers and Meramon sentries.

I gave up the real world . . . for this?

. . . . No. The Digital World is a much better place than the real world. I'm not missing anything over there.

Despite this, the Digimon Emperor found himself taking out his Black Digivice and holding in to his computer screen, a brilliant light filling the room.

* * * * *

The Digimon Emperor melted away for the guise of Ken Ichijouji in the real world, a young boy of great intellect but little compassion. The boy's first reaction was to the computer room he found himself in; when he warped between the two worlds, he usually reappeared in his bedroom. Shrugging off the thought, Ken looked to an inactive computer screen and peered at his reflection. He almost jumped back in surprise at his appearance.

His indigo hair, once neatly cut below his chin, hung haphazardly around his face and swept past his shoulders. Cursing at the disarray, the child hunted down a rubber band and tied his hair back and away from his face. Nothing, however, could be done for the unhealthy gauntness he found himself with. His face, once thin and sharply-chiseled, was unnaturally pale and emaciated. He cringed at the thought of what his body looked like under his gray school uniform.

Sunlight poured from the windows to his far left, a silent beacon that Ken found himself unable to ignore. He slowly approached the windows, wincing at the bright light against his now-sensitive eyes. His purple gaze floated down to a group of boys his age that were playing on a field. Soccer, a soft voice whispered to him, a tinge of sadness trailing through it.

"Do you spend a lot of time studying?"

"Some geniuses do, but I'd rather play soccer."

I loved that game . . . but I gave it up for the Digital World.

Turning from the window, Ken exited the room and made his way out of the building, crossing the schoolyard until he was able to get a good look at the soccer field. The laughing rang in his ears as he watched, the shouts of boys calling to their teammates bringing with them sudden nostalgia.

"Goal scored by Ken "The Rocket" Ichijouji!"

"Go, Rocket, go!!"

Feeling a pang in his chest, the boy shook his head and walked away from the field. Meanwhile, one of the boys on the field whooped as he scored a goal, wheeling around and throwing his hands into the air in victory.

. . . And faltered in surprise, staring after the departing form dressed in gray.

To the normal Odaiba student, it would have seemed unusual to see a Tamachi-dressed kid on their school's grounds. But to Davis Motomiya, who had had quite a bit of history against a particular Tamachi student for a few months, the appearance was shocking. The memories carefully tucked away in the recesses of his mind resurfaced, making his pulse quicken in terror.

"Davis! Hey, c'mon!"

. . . Could it be him. . .?

* * * * *

He walked through the city in the direction of his former home, turning corners and crossing streets like every single citizen that walked about. A few girls, some younger and some older, gave him dreamy looks as he passed by.

"Look at him. . . Isn't he cute?"

"What a hunk! Oooh, gimme some of those locks, hottie. . ."

"Talk about tall, dark, and handsome. . .!"

Ken paid them little heed, his eyes closing as he remembered the adoring words of girls that had crushes on him and his loyal fans. . . . I guess I liked the attention, he admitted to himself. I liked being able to think that I didn't give a care, or that I was untouchable to them. . . Of course, in the Digital World, I am untouchable. No one can stand up to me.

This silent statement made Ken frown. I liked having fans and people to make proud, even if there was always pressure on me . . . but I gave it up for the Digital World.

Engulfed in his other thoughts, Ken didn't take notice of two individuals that were window-shopping as he passed. The female of the two, a brunette with eyes that shone like rubies in the sunlight, snapped her head up as she caught sight of Ken in the corner of her eye. She stopped and backed away from the window, missing the boy as he turned a corner and disappeared from her view.

"Kari? Hey, what's wrong?" T.K. Takaishi blinked in confusion at his best friend as he held onto her shopping bags.

"I . . . thought I saw something, T.K." Kari Kamiya shook her head and smiled weakly at the blonde. He offered her a smile in response.

. . . Could it have been him. . .?

* * * * *

The next notable area that Ken passed by was the park right next to the bridge dividing the Tamachi and Odaiba school districts. He had favored the park to home as a smaller child, not wanting to be within a half-mile radius of his house when his parents glorified his older brother and blatantly ignored him. Now, adults and kids clustered in under the protection of the trees, shouting out in encouragement as two children walked into a battle ring of some sort.

Approaching the clustered mass, Ken was able to make out the wooden Kendo swords that were held tightly in the two children's hands. Masks obscured the two competitors' faces, but the boy genius had a feeling that they were both boys.

"Hajime!"

With that shout that began the match, the two boys clashed shinai and backed off. The taller of the two let out a short warning cry as he attacked again, the shorter boy swiftly blocking the attack by swinging his sword into his opponent's. Taking this to his advantage, the short boy thrust forward and landed a hit on the taller boy's armor. A whistle sounded and the two set up in the beginning position. With another shout of "Hajime," the two boys once again met. This time, the shorter child took to the offensive, chopping at his opponent as he tried to land a hit. The other boy desperately blocked the quick hits, finally gasping out as he was clipped in the shoulder.

"Winner, Hida!" called the ref, gesturing grandiosely to the shorter boy. The two boys lowered their weapons and bowed politely, turning away to their respective sides of the ring.

Ken's gaze followed the winner, who removed his helmet and revealed a face that sparked a bit of memory within him. . . . A Digidestined? He watched as an old man, more than likely Hida's grandfather, and a girl approached. The girl, lavender-haired and smiling brightly, hugged the small boy and cheered.

"Great going, Cody!" she said enthusiastically as she released the winner. "You sure showed him who's boss!"

"Very well-fought, Cody," the old man commented, nodding in approval.

"Thank you, Grandfather," the green-eyed child said solemnly, smiling faintly. "He was a worthy adversary."

"Well, my worthy adversary, until we meet again in battle."

"Huh? Worthy adversary. . .?"

Twitching at the new memory that resurfaced, Ken turned heel and left the park. Yolei Inoue frowned as she noticed an abrupt movement from the crowd, her eyes narrowing on a gray-garbed figure moving away. Indigo hair glistened in the sunlight, raising old memories.

"Hey, Cody, watch it! Besides, I don't wanna kiss him; duh, I just wanna marry him!"

"Yolei Ichijouji! Ken and Yolei Ichijouji!"

"Ken. . .?" the question came out lower than a whisper.

"What was that, Yolei?" Cody looked at the girl as he noticed her eyes wandering away.

". . . Nothing, Cody. It's nothing." Yolei shook her head, trying to shake the image away.

Can it be really be him. . .?

* * * * *

Ken made it a point to head straight for the Tamachi apartment complex he lived in after the incident in the park, trying to suppress the turbulent emotions he was feeling. Why did he feel so sad hearing those memories replay in his head? He had the Digital World now and he was supposed to be content; conquering the Digital World had been his goal from the beginning. . . Why did he even bother to come back to the real world? There was nothing of the real world that he needed or cared about. . .

. . . I just want to look around. I want to see what's happened since I left.

He tried to convince himself he wasn't worried about his parents. Climbing the stairs to his former home, Ken walked the once-familiar path to the apartment. He stopped short as he prepared to knock on the door, staring at the door hard as he realized something was wrong.

The nameplate. . . It's gone.

The nameplate, which had once proudly adorned the apartment door, was missing. Ken was unable to wonder about this piece of information, as an old woman came down the walk carrying groceries.

"Um . . . excuse me," Ken started, not recognizing the woman.

The gray-haired lady stopped, adjusting her spectacles as she looked back at the boy. "Yes?" she queried. "Is something wrong, child?"

Ken pointed to his former house as he began to speak. "Do you know what happened to the people who lived here?"

The woman's brows knitted together in sad thoughtfulness. "The Ichijoujis?" she murmured. She shook her head as a sigh escaped her lips. "Such a sad, sad story. . . They lost both of their sons; one was killed two years back in a car accident and the other . . . he disappeared about half a year ago."

Half a year?!

"The police never found anything on that poor boy," the woman sighed. "It was like he had just . . . vanished. The mother . . . she would cry herself to sleep or until she passed out. It was tragic just to see her; she was heartbroken to have lost both of her children. She died a month ago; I believe she overdosed on sleeping pills."

O-- oh, God. . .

There was a tremble in Ken's voice as he forced himself to ask another question. "What happened to. . .?"

"The father? He moved out of here shortly after that; he wanted to get away from all the horrible memories. I don't blame him, really; he's very strong to make a decision like that. . ." The old woman shook her head, unlocking the door of her own apartment. "I'm sorry to depress you like that, child. If you'll excuse me. . ." With that said, the woman disappeared into her apartment and left Ken alone to his thoughts.

"Mama. . ." Ken felt his knees give way, forcing him to grab the handrail to keep from falling. "She's dead . . . and it's my fault. . ."

I killed her. . . Just like I killed Osamu.

I killed her by conquering the Digital World.

I killed her by never coming home.

* * * * *

He sank into the chair, his veiled eyes unfocused. The monitors before him silently watched him, not caring for the things he had seen within the last few hours. There was a tremble to every breath now, a regret with every thought; the former confidence and arrogance had been dispelled by the truth.

He had lost everything. Everything.

The Digital World was no prize. Without anyone to impress, conquering the Digital World was pointless. The Digidestined no longer cared; they had shown that by leaving him to take over the world they were supposed to protect.

Whatever happiness he found in playing tyrant was gone.

Whatever life he had back in the real world was gone. His parents were gone. His name was gone.

Forever and ever, he would be the emperor of a world that could not care.

And the cold reality was enough to make the Digimon Emperor cry.

Ken Ichijouji was dead.

Only memories of him remained.


How utterly depressing was that, huh?
Wormmon -- Horribly, horribly depressing. I want to cry so much for Ken-chan. . .
??? -- What was that?
*cheers* Ken! You finally got here!
Ken -- I'd apologize, but I'm sure there's no reason to. What's been going on?
Wormmon -- Athena's been writing depressing stories about you.
Ken -- *blinks* . . . Okay. . . May I ask why?
When you're my muse, anything goes. I can write you into tearjerkers, death-fics, and even twisted, alternate realities!
Ken -- . . . . Can I go be tortured by some other writer?
You're gonna leave Wormmon all alone here?
Wormmon -- *whimpers*
Ken -- . . . . . . . . . . . .

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